Way back in 1988, LR’s parents took her to SeaWorld the first summer it opened. She doesn’t really remember much about this trip except that it was very, very hot, her little brother Greg wasn’t with them because he was a baby, and there was a big map of the United States on the ground, which isn’t there anymore, presumably because SeaWorld has grown in the past twenty years. LR didn’t realize this was SeaWorld’s twentieth birthday till she and Mr. Burt walked up to the front gates on Friday, April 18 and saw the birthday banner flapping in the chilly morning breeze. Whereupon LR felt rather old…
…not too old, however, to enjoy a day at SeaWorld with her husband as much as she did as a five-year-old.
After posing by the fountain near the front gates, the first animals LR and Mr. Burt saw weren’t sea creatures…
They were horses.
Clydesdales, to be precise.
The Anheuser-Busch Clydesdales, which appear in the Budweiser commercials pulling the beer wagon through the snowy fields.
Finding it a little strange that horses were kept behind bars, where no one could get close to them (except for this fake!Clydesdale out front of their stable), LR and Mr. Burt headed to a part of SeaWorld where they knew they could get up close and personal to the animal life.
They donned scuba gear and got to take part in shark feeding time! And if you think this shark looks mean with glass between you and him, just imagine what it was like to be floating there in the water with only a rubber wetsuit between you and 200 razor-sharp teeth!
Go on, imagine it, and LR and Mr. Burt will, too, because they’ve certainly never experienced it!
They have, however, fed…
…a bottle-nosed dolphin.
“Please, sir, I want some more!”
They look like they’d be super slick and smooth, don’t they? Well they’re not! They’re really rubbery and tough and covered in scars.
Once you run out of fish, they won’t have anything to do with you. Mooches.
Rejected by the dolphins, LR and Mr. Burt consoled themselves by checking out some marine birds. 
The pelican and flamingos made LR wonder what she’d look like as a bird.
Would a peacock suit her, do you think?
It was only about 60 degrees that morning, and while the temperature (and the school day) kept the crowds to a minimum, LR and Mr. Burt weren’t immune to the chilly air. They ran for cover at SeaWorld’s 3D pirate movie, starring Leslie Neilson and a whole bunch of other people who can’t act (and a dog with a strange face that didn’t enjoy that treat he was given). A Walt Disney World 3D movie, it wasn’t. Also, it squirted really cold water at you, which wasn’t fun when they’d gone to the show in part to escape the unseasonably chilly breeze.
At least the 3D glasses provided a few minutes’ entertainment. LR and Mr. Burt are thinking of putting their prescription lenses in these frames, what do y’all think?
(It doesn’t matter what y’all think; LR and Mr. Burt have better fashion sense than that.)
Next up was the Shamu show, which was a lot better acted and not as wet (at least not for LR and Mr. Burt, who sat well out of the Soak Zone.)
Attention biology teachers everywhere: Shamu got that tongue-rolling gene!
After the show, LR stopped at a kiosk to share their appreciation to Shamu for the wonderful tricks he performed for her.
Mr. Burt expressed a little more than appreciation…
…and LR didn’t like it.
LR and Mr. Burt reconciled their differences enough to be all smiles again for Viva, the beluga whale and dolphin show:
See Pacific White-Sided Dolphin. See Pacific White-Sided Dolphin jump.
See Pacific White-Sided Dolphin walk backward.
See Pacific White-Sided Dolphins dance.
See two Pacific White-Sided Dolphins jump and spin.
See Beluga Whale grin cutely at audience.
See LR and Mr. Burt approve of the show.
The last and best show of the day was the Sea Lion, Walrus, and Otter show, which is no longer Spooky Kooky Castle or The Pirates of Pinnaped, but is now a still-hilarious mystery set in the 1930s, the name of which LR cannot, for the life of her, remember.
LR and Mr. Burt were too busy laughing at the adorable otter putting his hands up when the trainer yelled, “Freeze!” to take any pictures, but they did get some after the show.
The walrus refused to do one of his tricks during the show, but still got a fish afterward. Probably because he stole the show from the otter by rolling over onto his back and performing crunches when he was ridiculed for being so fat!
When the show was over it was feeding time at the seal and sea lion community. LR and Mr. Burt didn’t buy any more stinky, tiny fish, but they still got plenty of face time from the critters, who had their own begging tactics.
The sea lions barked for their supper…
This little seal just sat there with his mouth open waiting for someone to drop a fish in, and never gave up.
While his friend just gave the most adorable puppy-dog eyes you ever saw.
Meanwhile, other sea lions showed how they’ve clearly been spending too much time on teh internetz:
Did you ever see a more perfect *facepalm*?
I has da buckit.
Finally there was this guy, who demonstrated his perfect technique for napping in the water without having to wake up and surface for air.
Coming out of the sea lion and seal community, Mr. Burt met with calamity.
So, LR and Mr. Burt decided they’d had quite enough of animals, and decided to top off their day with some of SeaWorld’s less dangerous thrills, the rollercoasters.
The Great White, however, brought back nightmarish memories of the experience in the shark tank. (Oh, wait, that was imaginary.)
Although a sign at the ride’s entrance shows you how to ride properly, LR thought you might prefer to know in advance how to sit in the car, so you’re not taken by surprise.
Do not ride with your head down and arms or legs out.
The rollercoaster was pretty good, but even riding correctly, LR and Mr. Burt found themselves dizzy after all those loop-de-loops and corkscrews and opted out of riding a second time.
So, they checked out the slightly tamer Steel Eel, which was all hills.
Only it might have been more aptly named the “still ill,” because LR and Mr. Burt got off feeling quite shaken and even older than the twentieth birthday sign had made LR feel when they got to SeaWorld that morning.
In his anguish at being too old for rollercoasters, Mr. Burt went all Samson and pushed over the Steel Eel’s supports.
Then, not wanting to ride (too cool, as well as too old) another coaster, they instead just posed in front of the Texas Splashdown, which couldn’t have produced a better picture (or more fun) if they’d actually ridden it.
And that was LR and Mr. Burt’s day at SeaWorld.
But not the end of their San Antonio vacation.
To be continued…
25/04/2008 at 5:07 pm Permalink
Yes, it does mean you’re old. Shockingly old. Did you take your Geritol that day?